Thursday, October 28, 2010

It's complicated

At playgroup, I commented to another mom that her son seemed so even-tempered as he sat trying to fit a ball into a much too small hole. I was thinking that by now my daughter would have screamed out in frustration, asking for immediate attention and help. The mom replied that she has read a lot about tantrum-ing so maybe that has helped, although maybe it's just his personality. Moments like these make me notice how some mothers are so confident based on what they have read - there is so much reading to be done out there! - and yet while I can tell you about the theorists and the theories, and I can rattle off suggestions and recommendations, I still don't feel like I quite have a handle on the actual moment, most of the time. When my toddler pushes her little sister flat on the floor again, and again, and again... and again... with a smile and a laugh, I know that she is testing boundaries and trying out her new found independence. And I know about distracting, and giving warnings, and emphasizing talking. But that knowledge doesn't mean I've found a solution.

Still working on it!